On Wednesday, I turned down the job at Shanghai University of Finance and Economics. It turned out it wasn't as good as I thought. It was to teach 12 hours of Oral English classes of 30 students who recently graduated from high school and then 8 hours of something else (English related) to students who could be in Pre-Master's program. In addition, they want me to teach 3 hours of teacher training and hold office hours per week. It is a lot of work for only double the pay that I am currently getting and they did not offer a full round trip plane ticket. There are two aspects of the job which caught my attention. First off all, I am really excited about the prospect of doing teacher training. In addition, it is a program that is preparing students for study overseas and I am attracted to this international component of the program and understanding more about how students are prepared for overseas study and having the opportunity to use my expertise to help the current teachers at the university. I think it would be in my best interest to teach there part time if it were an option.
Today, I had a talk with someone from Kaplan about the possibility of teaching there. My friend Natalie put me in touch with the guy and said that I should talk with him about this opportunity. When I got the call yesterday, I thought it is worth going through the interview for practice. I haven't had much while I have been in China and I wanted to be challenged by this interview with an actual American. The position involves teaching EAP (English for Academic Purposes) as well as teaching a course on American Studies. The program is a 1+3 program where students do one year of study in China and 3 years of study in the United States. The person who interviewed me had extensive experience with Harvard's Writing Program, and for the first time I got a chance to talk to someone who was actually teaching writing and realized that there are people out there dealing with the same concerns that I have and how these concerns relate to Chinese students. It such an interesting conversation. We will have another meeting on Wednesday. I explained that I am waiting to hear about funding at Buffalo and that it is my first choice to attend there and that I think there is a good possibility that it will happen.
The other thing is that we still need to figure out about immigration stuff. It may not be as simple as we hoped. He might not be able to come back or he might not be able to stay.
I was actually getting really excited about coming to Michigan. When I got the news from Buffalo, I was happy, but I do have mixed feelings. I was thinking how nice it would be to come back to the Michigan to be close to family and that it would be nice to come back to teaching at LCC. I was thinking I could be happy to stay in Michigan and eventually find my way into a ESL program and work my way up to being a director of such program and that I could be happy with that choice. We found a school that does Chinese in the primary years and it also has a primary years program of the IB program. We are very interested in this kind of education and excited that this would be a great school for Hudson to attend. But I also know that I would probably find more satisfaction if I didn't take this path that somehow feels a little like going backwards.
Which is why I was so incredibly excited about getting the news from Buffalo that the funding has some good possibility. I put a great deal of thought into choosing PhD program and doing the application. International Education is a field that I am certain I want to pursue, and I think that there are a lot of opportunities out there. In addition, after attending the American Studies Conference, I realized that I really want to be back into a situation where ideas are questioned, played with, and discussed. I want that kind of mental stimulation which can be found in a college classroom that is not in China. I truly forgot what that was like and having been in China for so long I have not encountered it in all the time I was here. Although I tried to create it in my first years here, I gave up, lowered my standards, and began to appreciate what I could get. Doing this chipped away at my soul, and yet there was not another alternative. I became an English teaching slut. Pay me enough, and I will teach anything no matter if it makes me feel good about myself or not. That is a bit of an exaggeration, but to some extent my work her has become more about the money that gaining valuable experience. I feel that doing the PhD program will be a way to redeem some of these qualities I have lost while living in China.
So today, when I had the talk with the Kaplan guy, I had many mixed feelings. I would like to teach in a supportive environment where I am not the only foreign teacher who is teaching a particular course. At Kaplan, there will be other teachers and teachers at other centers teaching the same things. In addition, there is support from the American University as well. As I see it, the person who interviewed me is doing something I would like to be doing in a few years. I asked about his educational background and unsurprisingly it has nothing to do with international education. I told him some of my career goals in interests and for the first time, I was talking to someone who got what it was I wanted to do any why. His suggestion was to stay here and keep doing it and that there is upward mobility in Kaplan as well. So that does raise the question for me which is whether or not I really need to do a PhD for what I want to do.
However, I have decided that I need to leave China. I have decided that I want to have some time back in the US to reclaim some of my missing soul. I think my best course of action will be to pursue a PhD in this area even if it is not necessary, I need to be reminded of how the American education system works and I do want to have a solid foundation in education to build my career on. I think to truly move up in the world of education, obtaining a PhD will open more doors than it closes and it requires hard work and sacrifice on my part to achieve that. I am at a crossroads in my life now. A place where whatever decision I make will lead me somewhere. I feel fortunate that I have all of these options in front of me and that all of these options lead to roads I could be satisfied with. Of these choices, going to do a PhD is certainly the most challenging and the most likely to bring me the greatest amount of personal growth. The further I grow the farther I will eventually be able to stretch. Of these three possibilities, pursuing a PhD is the one which scares me the most and also presents the greatest risk. This is why I know it is the right path to take.
The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down the one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference.
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